Gladiator Drinking Game

Take a drink every time...

1. DEATH!!!! (or CORPSES!!!!)*
2. You want to punch Joaquin Phoenix in the balls because he's cowardly or crafty or creepy or crazy or just generally can't do the right thing to save his sad little life.
3. Connie Nielsen** is just in her own little soap opera, man. Like, the whole time.
4. There is sad drooling and/or snot.
5. Someone says 'Caesar' or 'Rome' (actually, people say those a lot, so you might want to pick one)

Take a bonus drink every time the music in this movie is EXACTLY the same as the Pirates of the Caribbean music.

Take a bonus drink every time Oh get on with it! How long until someone gladiates, or, like, kills a lion or something?

Take a bonus drink every time there is a weird/crazy/unnecessarily artsy camera shot, like weird dream sequences, random close-ups or blurring, arbitrary flower petals, etc.

Finish your drink for "You sold me queer giraffes. I want my money back."

*Go ahead and waterfall at appropriate times. You'll know when.

**Don't know who Connie Nielsen is? She plays Lucilla, and more importantly she is the only woman in this movie who is alive.

The Karate Kid Drinking Game

Take a drink every time...

1. Mr. Miyagi speaks in a one- or two-word sentence. Feel free to just keep drinking if he keeps doing it (e.g. "No fight. Fight bad. No good. Don't do." is four drinks*)
2. Someone says 'Daniel'.
3. Someone rides in or drives some sort of vehicle (including bikes, DANIEL). Take two drinks every time someone is on or in a vehicle but is just kind of lounging on it.
4. Daniel is bullied, intimidated, mocked, derided, or generally scared to live his life.
5. The cute little racist Asian flute refrain plays for Mr. Miyagi (if you've seen this movie multiple times and never noticed that this happens, take an extra drink every time you can't believe it).

Take a bonus drink every time Mr. Miyagi makes a wise or proverb-like statement**.

Finish your drink for "Take em off...I wanna see your baby browns."

*He absolutely doesn't ever say that

**Our [likely incomplete] list:

-"If come from inside you, always right one."

-"To make honey, young bee need young flower, not old prune."

-"Smell bad, heal good."

-"No such thing as bad student. Only bad teacher."

-"Belt mean no need rope pull up pants."

-"Karate here. Karate here. Karate here. Karate never here."

-"Not everything is as seem."

-"Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything."

-"Look eye. Always look eye."

The Mighty Ducks Drinking Game

Take a drink every time...

1. Someone says 'duck' (note: this definitely also includes 'ducks' and 'Ducksworth'). If you're a bit of the way in and slowly realizing that this movie is way less good than kid you thought it was, add 'quack', but don't say we didn't warn you*.
2. Emilio Estevez (or whatever his name is in the movie. Is it still Emilio Estevez?) has a flashback, or someone mentions his past. Apparently nothing happened in this guy's life between peewee hockey and now.
3. Emilio Estevez (seriously - he must have a character name, right? Wait. It's Gordon.) is just SUCH A DOUCHE [for the first half of the movie] or is just SUCH A NICE GUY WHO OH MY GOSH HE JUST LOVES KIDS SO MUCH [after his heart-changing lay-down in the snow].
4. Mysterious Wise Old Man is Mysterious and Wise.

Take a bonus drink every time the kids are such wholesome rapscallions**.

Take a bonus drink for Disney sanctimoniousness.

Finish your drink for "Hey! I'll decide who sucks around here!"

*WARNING

**Cute little hooligans, if you will***

***Just the sweetest little troubled preadolescents you could care to meet

Mulan Drinking Game

Take a drink every time...

1. Honor or shame are mentioned or someone is honored or shamed (song lyrics included)
2. You hear a new song
3. A person actually has an East Asian [-ish] accent*
4.  "Manliness" is portrayed, imitated, discussed, analyzed, anal-ized, anally eyed, etc. For the Be A Man Bonus Option (not for the lightweights), take a drink every time they say "Be a man" in I'll Make a Man Out of You.
5. Mulan is just SO DIFFERENT

Take a bonus drink every time there is silly physical and/or slapstick humor.
Take a bonus drink every time WE GET IT SHE'S A GIRL DRESSED AS A DUDE AND DRAMATIC IRONY AND 'WITTY' COMMENTARY ENSUE BECAUSE SHE'S TOTALLY A GIRL DRESSED AS A DUDE, YOU GUYS.

Finish your drink if you're drunk enough to buy the whole 'Moving through snow is the same as moving through water, right? Hey, is anybody else still here in the animation studio?' thing.


*Note: There are several ways to handle this drink. We recommend taking a drink every time a character speaks for the first time in a given scene (so, for example, you can take a drink for the first time Chi-Fu speaks in every scene that Chi-Fu is in), although, depending on how much you want to drink/pay attention, you can drink once per character (if you're an ATTENTION PAYING WIMPO) or you can drink literally every time a character speaks with an East Asian [-ish] accent (if you're the coolest/drunkest kid in the room).

There's Something About Mary Drinking Game

Note that this game has a high frequency of drinks, and, as always, should be played with beer*.

Take a drink every time...

1. Someone says 'Mary' (and, if you're not drinking enough, 'Ted')
2. Someone says "fuck" or some derivative of the word
3. Things go from bad to worse. Take a second drink if things go from worse to...worser.
4. Someone lies to or deceives someone else. Take a bonus drink every time this movie would be three minutes long if everyone wasn't constantly misleading everyone else.

*Unless you're really cool. No, just kidding - if you play this with anything stronger than beer you'll probably die.

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids Drinking Game

Take a drink every time...

1. *SCIENCE* (something vaguely scientific/magical/totally bogus is seen, used, or mentioned).
2. A child is in danger (including the credits).
3. You witness a douche dad/sad son event (for either family).
4. Russ is SUPER FREAKING IN LOVE with Amy.

Take a bonus drink every time Russ Sr. clearly should have been played by Jim Carrey if he was famous yet.
Take a bonus drink every time the proportions are hilariously inconsistent.

Finish your drink for "Blow it out your shorts."